oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize