Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
