are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
