He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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