so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
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Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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