In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
