tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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