what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
