its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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