dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I want her autograph on my taint
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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