So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
handjob tips. give me some.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
