you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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