hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize