Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
