are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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