it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
