i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
