I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
