i don't like sucking hair
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
