she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize