So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
