thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize