I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
