um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
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Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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