Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
