Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize