I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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