I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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