I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
