I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
