The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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