hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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