wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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