i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
