you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
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