Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
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i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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