shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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