Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
