I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize