when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
