I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Randomize
