Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
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i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
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We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.