never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.