Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours