is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
