What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
