In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
