I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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