funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize