Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
