So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
