I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
