ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I still have a little drunk in my system
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
