Ambien. No doubt about it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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