yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Did I show you my penis last night?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
