you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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