Can i not drive my cunt home
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
