Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
