There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
