And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
