I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
jump out the window naked night went bad
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