I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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